When you try to text your ex back after a breakup, one of the first questions, you may have, “How do I go about it? What works?”
Text messaging always seems like a simple approach, but when you pull out your cell phone and start pressing a few buttons, you quickly realize you don’t know exactly what to say. You don’t know if you should be serious, funny, cute, sweet, or romantic. You don’t know if you should talk about the past relationship or just ignore it as if nothing ever happened.
Here is a 5 phase approach you can use to text your ex back.
Open The Lines Of Communication
You should have already gone through a period of no contact for about a month before sending your first text. In the first texting phase, you aren’t yet trying to get your ex back. You’re only trying to open the lines of communication again.
Your first few texts may or may not get a response. That’s perfectly ok. You don’t need to put any pressure on your ex for a response. You just want to open the door, let them know you’re OK with the breakup, and slowly start getting them to think positively about you again.
Bring Up Positive Memories
In phase 2, you’re still not trying to get text your ex back just yet. Instead, you’re going to use the word “remember” in your texts to get your ex-thinking about fun bonding experiences the two of you have shared. Focus on happy, pleasurable experiences.
Example: “Remember that time we wrestled in those sumo suits at the county fair? I just came across and old picture and started laughing thinking about how I couldn’t get up when you knocked me over. That was amusing.”
Focus On Intimacy
The third texting phase is all about intimacy. It’s about making your ex-remember how close they were to you and planting the idea that you could be that close again if you got back together. It works even better if you know your ex is going through a hard time.
Use Jealousy To Your Advantage
The fourth phase can be incredibly powerful, but can also backfire on you if you’re not careful. You need to be subtle here.
In this phase, you’re going to let your ex-know you’re doing OK after the breakup and that other people see you as attractive and valuable. When others see you as valuable, you become more valuable in your ex’s eyes as well. The idea is to let your ex know you’re not just sitting around on the couch feeling sorry for yourself.
Lay It All On The Line
In the last texting phase, you’re going to put your heart on the line and tell your ex how you feel. Remember, this is the last phase, not the first phase. If you use these texts when you first start text your ex back, then there’s a good chance you’ll push them further away.